Here in Minnesota and across the Great Plains we’ve been having a “polar vortex,” so to speak. It’s real cold. 

A screenshot of a weather app that says the temperature is -8F and feels like -26.
The frog’s other eye is frozen shut

The polar vortex doesn’t just happen every year: it’s happening all the time. It’s short for circumpolar vortex, referring to its transit around the poles. It’s just a west-east flow of air (also known as a westerly). Also there’s actually two polar vortices . One is like a halo on top of the Earth in the stratosphere (you know, up there), and another is whipping its way through the trophosphere (aka the atmosphere that’s touching the ground) in North America on one side of the planet and Russia on the other. 

A diagram that shows two polar vortexes, one circling the north pole and one cutting across North America
Source

It’s the tropo-vortex that’s usually responsible for this kind of weather. According to meteorologists it’s possibly not even a climate change thing that the polar vortex sometimes swoops down and blasts areas with brutally cold weather. It’s just a regular everyday thing for people who live up here. The day before the vortex started — Saturday the 18th — was a mere 5F and was legitimately beautiful. I went skating. 

Frozen ice on Lake of the Isles in MInneapolis
This, to me, is beautiful

On Monday it was so cold that the doorknob to my apartment building burned my bare hand. 

Anyway, back to your original question. I had to run some errands — pick up a prescription at Walgreens, drop off some books at the library, and grab some quick groceries. All of these are walking distances for me, and because of various brain deformities I suffer from, I decided to go Monday, instead of today, Tuesday, when it’s going to be 10 degrees warmer, or even Wednesday when it’s going to be a tropical 24F. Here’s a brief rundown of all the clothing I was wearing to stay warm:

CONTROVERSIAL UPDATE LIKE 45 MINUTES AFTER PUBLISHING:

I'm hearing from the community that assertions made below are not as black and white as I made it seem. While yelling at me only makes me more right, I just want to make it clear that I value important reader feedback:

good journalism, except @dsamorod.bsky.social is wrong about synthetic long underwear—the best long underwear is merino or merino/silk, which wicks moisture effectively and also doesn't stink if you air it properly!

corbin dewitt (@corbindewitt.bsky.social) 2025-01-21T17:37:51.036Z

Onward to my wardrobe:

  1. Underwear. Goes without saying. 
  2. Long underwear bottoms. Something made from a polyester fiber ideally — I know we’re all natural fiber girlies these days but during extreme weather you really want something that’ll wick moisture away from your body and leave the fabric touching your skin dry. Cotton kills, as they say. 
  3. Long underwear tops. Same thing. Long sleeves. I guess I should mention that my regular underwear was also a synthetic fiber. Look, you asked what I was wearing. 
  4. In a particularly controversial maneuver, I then put on jeans.
  5. T-shirt. I dislike the feeling of long sleeves on top of long sleeves, and I refuse to think about this, so t-shirt it is. It was a cotton t-shirt I got at a science writing conference a few years ago. 
  6. A big bad-ass wool sweater, heavy enough to stop a bullet, chunky enough to make you look like a crazed lighthouse keeper. I have five or six at this point in my life and honestly could use a few more. Easily thriftable. Get 100% wool, shetland or lambswool is all good. Merino will not be warm enough. 
Robert Pattinson wearing a thick sweater, Willem Dafoe with his eyes wide looking crazy
Like so.
  1. Socks. Again maybe goes without saying that I was wearing socks. Wool socks (the girlies aren’t wrong). If you have a second hand outdoor store in your area these are great for stocking up on affordable wool socks. I wore a thinner one I got from REI and then a shin-length thicker one, purchased from god knows where over that.
  2. Three more t-shirts.
  3. Okay here’s where it gets technical. I was wearing a hat. Despite the mostly right-minded natural fibers movement, the warmest hat I own is an acrylic beanie from Carhartt. It’s great. I bought it right when Carhartt stuff was getting trendy and because 
  4. Whoops I just remembered that I was also wearing a balaclava. I have one of these from snowboarding company Blackstrap but personally you might not like how tight it is around your mouth, and if you pick the wrong color it’ll look like you’re wearing a bandage wound tightly around your head. 
  5. Six more t-shirts.
  6. Winter coat. Don’t skimp here, and don’t try for fashion. Get the biggest, most ridiculous, most technical-ass coat you can find. You want to feel like you could get hit by a car and bounce right off, which could be fun. Something with a hood, and faux-fur lining. 
  7. Actually I usually put boots on first, so do that. Something lined might be nice. It’s tempting to get a big stomping vintage Sorel with a steel toe but don’t because you might literally freeze a toe-off (or so I’ve been warned). I have one of these.
  8. A scarf. Again: wool.   
  9. Gloves. Wool. I have a pair of wool flip gloves, the kind where you can pop your fingers out to use your phone, then fold over into a mitten. They’re great. 
  10.  Five more t-shirts. 
Selfie of Dan with ice in his beard

Hope this was helpful!

The link has been copied!